How to confess to your boyfriend that you lied about your age?

The best you can do now is, tell the truth - apologize for not telling him sooner, and try to explain why you did not tell the truth. He might appreciate you coming clean - but don't be surprised if he thinks you are superficial - since you don't like how men your age look.

dailyrecord.com - Ask: I lied about my age... now what do I do? - Daily Record

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Dear Dr. Marcia,

I have always taken good care of myself; I never smoked, barely drink at all, and have never been overweight. I will admit that I am a fan of Botox, but even without it I still look about 15 years younger than I am. People are always shocked when I tell them I am 58. They don't believe it. I have been divorced for 13 years and as most do, found it difficult meeting people. I have no children so did not want to get involved with someone who had kids which lessened my chances of meeting someone my age. I decided to do Internet dating, and before I put up my profile, I looked at some men in my age bracket. They looked a lot older than their years and almost all had kids. I decided to put my "look" age rather than my chronological age. I had a lot of responses right away from men in their early 40s! I started emailing and talking with a man who is 43; the same age I put on my profile. After our initial meeting for coffee, we met again for a drink, then last weekend went to dinner. Because of the way I look, he never mentioned age. I was going to tell him, but when we went out to dinner, he was talking about people lying on their Internet profiles. He was going on about how ridiculous and immature it is, and what it says about the person.

I sat there agreeing with everything he was saying, and now I don’t know what to do. I thought he might be testing me but I don’t think he knows because he asked me out again. I know sooner or later I’m going to be found out and now don't know how to tell him how old I really am without sounding like a fake?

Signed,

Little White Lie

Little White Lie,

Not so much when you are talking about a 15 year age lie! Oh, what a tangled web we weave... Hate to tell you honey, but as far your concern about sounding like a fake… that ship has sailed. Face the facts - you lied and you continued to lie every time you saw or spoke to him without telling him your real age. It would have been a lot easier to come clean when you first met - and even then he might have still been upset. He is right - it does speak about the person. The best you can do now is, tell the truth - apologize for not telling him sooner, and try to explain why you did not tell the truth. He might appreciate you coming clean - but don’t be surprised if he thinks you are superficial - since you don't like how men your age look.

If you feel so great about how you look for your age - why not just be honest about it and enjoy the compliments that follow?

Marcia Owens has a doctorate in relationship psychology. If you would like to see a question answered, or for a confidential personal response, write draskdrm@gmail

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