' Folk wisdom suggests that confidence is highly attractive to potential partners, and research has confirmed that men and women rate confidence as a very attractive trait in a potential partner (Buunk, Dijkstra, Fetchenhauer, & Kenrick, 2002).
It is no surprise, then, that marital infidelity is a leading cause of divorce.
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Read More »These findings failed to support our initial hypothesis of a benefit of overconfidence in romantic attraction. However, the increase in both confidence and arrogance suggested a different potential benefit; overconfidence might be helpful when there is competition for partners. Some romantic encounters involve only evaluations of attractiveness, such as chatting to someone you meet in a bookstore. Others, however, include an element of competition for access to potential romantic partners - like trying to gain the attention of an attractive person in a nightclub. Our findings suggested that overconfident individuals might do better in these competitive environments. We thought that arrogance and confidence might make overconfident people seem difficult and unpleasant competitors, thus deterring others from trying to compete with them. To test this possibility, in our third study people were asked to imagine they had shown up to a singles mixer, and were particularly interested in one member of the opposite sex - but that the author of the profile they were reading was already sitting at a table with that person. We then asked how willing they would be to sit at the same table with the profile writer and attempt to compete for the attention of their preferred individual, rather than giving up and meeting someone new at a different table. We found that people were less willing to compete with overconfident profile writers. These data suggest that although potential partners find arrogance unattractive, arrogance combined successfully with confidence to drive away competitors. A fourth study replicated this deterrence effect when money was on the line. Participants first wrote their own dating profile, and were then given the opportunity to compete with other profile writers if they thought their profile would be more attractive to the opposite sex. If they chose not to compete, they would get a set amount of money, but if they competed they would double their money if their profile was found more attractive, but would get nothing otherwise. Even with these incentives, participants were less willing to compete against overconfident profile writers, while participants who were overconfident themselves were more likely to choose to compete across the board. To get an idea of how the effects of overconfidence on competition and attraction might combine to determine romantic success, we conducted a simulation study using agent-based modelling. Using the effects from our empirical studies, we repeatedly simulated scenarios where a varying number of competitors attempted to deter each other from competing, before those who remained tried to attract the target. Our simulations showed that as levels of competition increased, the negative effects of arrogance on overall romantic success disappeared, while the positive effects of confidence became stronger. These findings suggest that overconfidence can be beneficial when trying to attract a partner in a highly competitive environment, as the combination of confidence and arrogance increases total romantic success by deterring potential competitors.
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Read More »A question that remains open for us, however, is what separates participants who portrayed confidence without arrogance from those who portrayed both. Although the combination of the two is beneficial in competitive environments, portraying confidence without arrogance would reap most of the competitive benefits while still getting a boost to romantic desirability. One possibility is that some participants simply lack the social skills to come across as confident but not arrogant. Another possibility is that there is a cognitive cost to minimizing arrogance while appearing confident, and some people, particularly the competitively minded, may choose not to pay that cost. Regardless, our research suggests that being a bit overconfident may not be such a bad thing – especially if you can avoid coming across as arrogant. Sean Murphy is a 4th year Ph.D. student in Psychological Science at the University of Queensland School of Psychology. His research examines the social outcomes of individual differences like social intelligence and overconfidence. You can find out more about Sean and his research here: www.seancmurphy.com and contact him at [email protected].
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